Taking Responsibility for Your Life & Actions, Admitting When You're Wrong

We as humans have a tendency to displace blame. We try to squirm out of it when the mantle of blame gets placed upon our shoulders. Seldom do we want to take responsibility for the bad decisions we have made in our lives, or for the consequences we suffer as a result of those bad decisions.

I have had the opportunity  to meet several people in my line of work who have received DUI charges and they are experts at blame displacement: it was the cop's fault, the breathalyzer was faulty, I blew under the legal limit but got charged anyway...the list goes on. Many people like to blame their alcoholic parents for their DUI, also, yet it was their choice to drink and get behind the wheel of the vehicle.

Others like to blame society or their background for their shortcomings for things ranging from doing poorly in high school or turning to a life of crime. We often cry: "Life isn't fair! We need more fairness in life!" Let me tell you the truth: life isn't fair. The way you overcome barriers is through hard work and determination! That means extra hours of study to do well in school and succeed. It means staying away from the wrong crowd, even when your entire family has a criminal background. It means not giving up when things get tough.

At this point, you might be thinking "Easy for you to say, you have a perfect life and don't have any barriers." If you are guilty of this type of faulty thinking, please see one of my previous blogs posts: The Illusion of Perfection in the Lives of Others. Believe me, I have had serious barriers that I have overcome. I do have something to prove. Life isn't easy for me, either. You know what? I don't give up. If one way doesn't work, I try another. I am responsible for the decisions I have made in my life, and I will admit I have made numerous mistakes along the way for which I take the blame for. It wasn't my parents' fault. It wasn't because of my social background, et cetera. I am not a victim of life, rather, I am a victor in life. Can you say the same thing?

Some people like to wallow in self-pity and develop a victim mentality. They see themselves as the victims of life and  also of the decisions other people make. In reality, sometimes people do become the victims from the bad things other people do, but they don't have to incorporate being a victim into their identity. Overcoming victimization takes courage and will probably involve facing your fears. Be courageous! Keep telling yourself you are not a victim of life and that you have a choice to make in regards to how you will overcome obstacles and adversity. You can either dwell on the bad things of the past and let them drag you down your entire life or you can learn from the past, accept it and proceed to make good decisions in order to make the present and future better.

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Don't you just hate it when people don't admit when they're wrong, or they think they are always right? Most of the time, it's not fun being around someone like that. If you are around such a person, try to not let them get away with their pig-headed behavior because it's not good for you or them. More importantly, however, don't be one of those people who never admit to being wrong or who always have to be 'right'. Just because someone wins an argument or is more persuasive doesn't mean they are right.

Here are some tips you can follow:

• If you did something wrong, fess up to it. Don't try to blame it on someone else or insist you're right. 
• Did you say something hurtful to a loved one? Tell them you were wrong to have said that and ask forgiveness. 
• Was your coworker right when you were wrong on how to do a procedure at work? Congratulate them for knowing how to do the procedure correctly and tell them they were right. 
• If you do something wrong at work, admit your mistake and ask for the chance to fix it. 

Everyone wants to take the credit, no one wants to take responsibility.

People don't usually like to admit guilt. It's hard for most of us to act humble and admit that we were mistaken, culpable or acted inconsiderately. I think we have a societal problem with people having inflated egos and a sense of entitlement. Some people always want to get the last word in or always want to get their way, which is not a realistic or wise way to live life. 

At the other end of the spectrum, people may tend to go overboard and take responsibility for things over which they should not be expected to be accountable for, such as the actions of others. Do not take the blame for something you didn't do. This creates all sorts of problems. Do not take the blame for other people's problems, because that's their responsibility. You may be assisting them in the change process, but ultimately, positive change is up to them. If you take responsibility for the bad things other people do, you are not doing them any favors because reality will catch them eventually.

My hope for the people reading this blog is to be cognizant of whether they are living a lousy life they blame other people for or if they are taking charge of and responsibility for their own life. Make an effort to admit when you're wrong; this will win you friends and respect. Do not blame your parents. Do not blame the policeman. Do not blame your teacher in grade school. The past is the past; the question is "What can you do now to improve the present and future?"

I'm sure most of my readers have less a problem with this than others, but may know someone who can benefit from reading this :-) Do you know anyone who doesn't like to be responsible for their own lives? Tell me in the comments.